The joys of shuffle on my itunes meant that I have once again been inspired – though I wasn’t expecting Beyonce to be my muse this morning, but these were the cards I had been dealt by the blogging gods and I shouldn’t complain. Behind every strong woman there is a gay……or several thousand in the case of Lady Gaga, Madonna and Esther Rantzen. (That is a very long story, that involves my birthday, a drag queen and bingo but lets not go there!) Do I really want to discuss about gay icons to the masses that have lead to Mugler’s profile being raised, and an army of twinky clones caked in bobby brown being created? Clearly not, I would rather talk about people who have influenced me and who are gay, who knows I may even put on my gay activist hat on and rant even more than I usually do…..a first I know!
This is attempt five now of writing this blog entry, I could go so many different angles with this – I could indulge you with how I came out, nearly making my best friend choke on her pizza, which would have led to a rather embarrassing trip to A+E (luckily it didn’t) or the time I had to introduce two men I was dating to each other, and then of course the time I threw up after kissing a guy. Those awkward and embarrassing stories will have to wait, for today I feel it only right to remember those who I have been blessed enough to meet, and then perhaps a rant at the end about gay rights! It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t swear, share embarrassing stories or complain about something!
I cast my mind back to being a student, the first time I could be comfortably out and not worry about being burnt at the stake or pelted with stones by the inhabitants of what I thought were a backwards town. I was quickly seduced by the dirty glamour of Liverpool’s gay scene, learning to go toe to toe with drag queen in a slagging match, having the lines of those iconic cabaret songs and dance steps forced down my throat – it was a world hidden to me and I wanted to embrace what I so thought meant being gay. I had a string of men on the go, blinded by the disco balls I was out almost every night, getting up to all sorts. Liverpool was a cheap night out, a twenty pound note would get you so drunk you could barely see, a takeaway and a taxi home. (In london you can struggle to buy a round for that!) My life revolved around being a gay man, part of what I saw as a community but fuck me how wrong could I have been. I mean I like having three day parties like anyone, a good disco dance until first light only to go to a house party and collapse in someone’s bed for a comforting cuddle and guaranteed cup of tea in the morning. Personally being gay isn’t about providing entertainment for the masses, being a minority or conforming to a type.
Thankfully I quickly learnt what it meant for me to be a gay man and I was lucky enough to share a studio with a fabulous man who I call my Uncle Timmy. A gentleman in his 50s, who perhaps is one of the funniest men I have ever met; he has a heart of gold and a brain that would go toe to toe with Einstein. Well maybe not Einstein, but someone stupidly intelligent like…..Stephen Fry! I always look back at those conversations that we shared in the badly heated art school studio of how he met his partner John in a petrol station, how they thought the spread of AIDS in the 80s was down to poppers, and how his generation had to fight for the basic rights I sometimes took for granted.
Now picking someone up in the late 60s was dangerous, just because homosexuality became legal didn’t mean it was still safe to be openly gay – I think a lot of the younger gay generation forget the hardships that these men and women went through. The wonders of the internet has revolutionised how we can pick guys up, websites such as gaydar, and iphone apps like Grindr have made it a lot easier to date someone, pick up for a bit of fun or even develop friendship. Back in the day, you had to slip in a clever choice of words (a secret code was actually developed to help identify other gay men and women), but still you had to be able to read a situation, and read a person – it required more intelligence than animal instinct. Over the next three years of art school, not only did I develop an ever lasting friendship with Tim and John, I also learnt so much about my gay heritage and what it meant to be part of a gay community instead of my initial selfish understanding of my sexuality, this was a priceless education that I feel should be delivered to all. Awareness reduces ignorance, after this morning’s news feed update on twitter and a glance at the front page of my dad’s paper this couldn’t be more of an apt time to write about this. Catholic leader Cardinal Keith ‘O’ Brien (who sounds pretty old school and is very influential in the catholic church) has started what can only be described as a witch hunt, claiming that same sex marriage will shame the UK in the eyes of the world, and that the government should stop trying to ‘redefine reality’. He sees the government’s plans for gay marriage as “madness” and a “grotesque subversion of a universally accepted human right”.
I stare out of the window, looking at the snow (yes snow in march – don’t ask!) and fondly remember the chats over cups of tea with Uncle Tim. When ever I think of him and John I just think of two people in love. Sexuality and gender never came into it, they were two people who just fell in love – a basic right that should never be taken away from anyone. I am shocked by the barbaric language used by the cardinal, its not the middle ages love so pipe down! LGBT legal rights have come so far in the last 40 years yes there is still a lot of leg work to do within our society. Such open taunting from the Catholic church will only cause a backlash, which isn’t what I want to see – far from it. I would rather see this minority group be accepted and viewed with the basic human rights that my Uncle Timmy and John, like so many fought for.
Sadly John passed away in 2010, he is missed by his friends and I have amazing memories of him, I just hope what he fought for won’t become forgotten.
As a closing note I think it only right to praise also the documentary work of homotopia arts festival, it interviewed members of the LGBT community in Liverpool recording the roller-coaster ride that the community has faced over the decades – with this they produced a film that was shown during the arts festival . Also highly recommend the film Milk – it shows the strength of the pink pound, and what a community can achieve together. The stonewall riots, the AIDS epidemic, numerous police brawls and the witch hunt that the worlds media conducted aren’t just part of LGBT history, they are a part of everyone’s history, a history that is at some points shameful but shouldn’t be hidden and one that I am proud to be a part of. This is how we can start tackling the ignorance in our society but only together……
insearchofoscar 