There are two phrases you never really want to hear from your ex that you still have feelings, well actually 3 now I think about it -
1) I am in habitat shopping with my boyfriend
2) I am going to a sex shop with my boyfriend
3) I am marrying my boyfriend
Luckily I didn’t have to deal with the third, but having the first followed by the second comment was a kick in the balls. I knew to save myself further from painfully longing to be with him and consuming the several bottles of bubbles in my fridge I would have to go cold turkey on most of my social media. Now you may think I am over reacting more than I usually do, but hear me out on this one.
Number 1 – if your ex is shopping with his partner for furniture, it is often a sign that they are overally smug in their relationship and if at this point they aren’t living together then they are certainly talking about it. I am always that guy in the furniture store who is by himself, and somehow you seem to get treated differently by the store staff. Perhaps they are that little bit extra helpful to you because they know you have the painful journey of getting all of your purchases home somehow and have the tricky task of assembling that wardrobe by yourself.
Number 2 – if your ex is shopping with his partner in a sex shop, it means that he is having amazing sex and want to spice it up either further. Or they are topping up on their lube cabinet because they are fucking like rabbits on heat, they have ran out. An image of my ex I really don’t want in my mind, unless of course it is with me. Granted that sounds borderline stalker and ever so slightly narcissistic but you get where I am coming from.
And this leads me to……
Number 3 – if they are doing the above, a proposal is surely going to be on the cards soon enough.
As this thought dawned on me, perhaps it is time that I need to move on and stop reflecting the past and chasing after those ex’s who at the time were ever so perfect and cut them out. If weeds are left to fester, no matter how beautiful they are, they soon overrun your garden. Looking at my garden, I have been overrun by them and it might be time to reach for the weed killer, which metaphorically speaking is the delete button on my phone!